David Archuleta didn't think he 'deserved' success
David Archuleta has revealed he didn't think he "deserved" fame and success when he shot to stardom on American Idol because of his struggles with his sexuality.
David Archuleta didn't think he "deserved" fame and success because of his struggles with his sexuality.
The 35-year-old singer shot to stardom as a teenager on American Idol back in 2008 - finishing second to David Cook - but David has revealed he felt conflicted when he reached the final of the TV talent show because he was still not fully comfortable with himself.
He told Rolling Stone: "I was so exhausted by that point [reaching the final]. I was so drained, it was like a fever dream. I don't think either of us had the energy to take in that moment. For me, it was finished. I could finally relax and not worry about being in front of everybody every week ...
"But I was also so thankful that everyone believed in me, because I didn't think I deserved it. I felt so unworthy to be there, because I had this belief in me for decades that no matter what I did, how much I accomplished, how much praise I received, I was unworthy of it and I didn't deserve it because of the 'dirtiness' I had inside of me."
Archuleta kept his sexuality a secret in the early days of his career, but publicly came out as gay in 2021 and he has now "learned to love" himself and he went through a "healing" experience as he looked back on his life while writing his new book Devout.
He explained: "When I was writing this book ... I was disgusted. I cringed But then I thought: 'Why are you so disgusted with yourself?'
"I've learned to love that part of me and it was really healing ... As a 35-year-old, I can receive the success that 17-year-old David had and say: 'Good job! I'm proud of you and you've made it this far. You almost chose to not be here and, gosh, I'm so glad that you did because a lot of people chose to take their life.'
"Hopefully by sharing my story, less people will get to that point and choose to stay as well."
David grew up as a Mormon and he previously admitted he gained a lot of confidence after walking away from the church.
He told UsWeekly: "I like to be a little more sensual, a little more in touch with my body and my sexuality and just being confident in who I am.
"It takes a little growing into that sometimes, but it feels great to do. It’s discouraged. It’s often looked down upon because it’s, like, you’re not supposed to talk about sex.
"You’re not supposed to talk about sensuality because it’s inappropriate, it’s disrespectful, your body’s a temple, and you’re supposed to be just very reserved.
"Now that I’m not practicing in the Mormon religion anymore, it’s like: 'Well, now I can do what I want' - even if it’s a little shocking for people."
