Chantelle Houghton: 'I knew I was slowly killing myself through not eating'
Chantelle Houghton secretly went through a battle with disordered eating.
Chantelle Houghton says she was "slowly killing [herself]" with her disordered eating battle.
The 42-year-old TV personality's brother claimed she looked as though she "were dying" as the star was eating just 400 calories a day, which left her slim enough to fit into her 12-year-old daughter's clothes.
Dropping from 12st 8lbs to 8st 2lbs - underweight for her 5ft 7in body - the model was left in pain and without energy due to dangerous dieting, which she became fixated on after gaining 3st and reaching 12st 8lbs during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Chantelle told The Sun: "I felt 100 years old. I had no energy. I’d wake up in the morning, and my whole body would be in pain. It felt like my bones were hurting, and I was so weak I couldn’t even walk my dog for very long.
"My body was shutting down, crying out for nourishment. I knew I was slowly killing myself through not eating. I was starving myself to death."
Trolls even accused the Celebrity Big Brother 2006 winner of being a drug addict.
She recalled: "People were saying I was a crackhead. I remember my brother looking at me one day and saying, 'Chantelle, if I didn’t know you, I’d think you were dying.'
"It did get to a point where I had to ask myself, ‘Am I going to die for this? Am I going to kill myself?'"
Chantelle has struggled with body dysmorphia for over two decades, as well as having previously battled bulimia.
After she put on 3st and reached 12st 8lbs during the COVID-19 pandemic, Chantelle got fixated on getting as slim as possible.
She explained: "I’d get a buzz from losing weight and it became an obsession. I wanted to get down to 10st, but when I got there, I thought I might as well keep going to 9st.
"And when I did that, I carried on, aiming to get to 8st. I’d go into my local Boots and weigh myself on the scales every other day. When people started to notice I’d lost weight, it spurred me on. I just wanted to be even skinnier.”
The weight loss eventually made Chantelle fit into her 12-year-old daughter's clothes.
And she even bought a tracksuit for herself from Marks and Spencer's children's department, which made her feel "incredible".
Chantelle recalled: "As I was clearing out my daughter’s clothes, I chucked on her a pair of her size 11-12yrs jogging bottoms and they fitted me.
"Looking back, that’s insane, but I was happy. I even bought myself an aged 12 tracksuit from M+S, which fitted perfectly. It’s embarrassing to admit now, but I loved that I was in kids’ clothes. I felt incredible."
While the star realises it was disordered eating, Chantelle said it felt "more like a coping disorder" for her while in a "bad place".
She explained: "If I’m in a bad place and I’ve got stuff going on in my life I can’t control, my weight feels like the only thing that I can take charge of.
"The weight loss also became something to distract me from having to come to terms with certain things in my personal life, dark memories that I didn’t want to face."
Chantelle turned her life around when she moved house in 2024, and realised she needed to change herself for the sake of her daughter, who is now aged 14.
The entertainer said: "Mortality really scares me. I don’t want to miss out on my daughter’s life because I was obsessed with being thin.
"Seeing her grow up means more to me than being super slim.
"I started to feel panicky and scared that I’d taken this too far.
"Moving house felt like a good time to try and break this cycle, so I stopped weighing myself and started eating normally – three healthy meals, snacks in between and a takeaway every now and again.
"I’m also conscious not to pass my insecurities on to my daughter and have always been careful never to let her hear me talk about my weight or food."
Chantelle - who thinks she now weighs around 10st, which is healthy for her 5ft 7in frame - added: "I feel more confident now. I feel like a woman again, with curves in the right places.
"I don’t feel weak anymore, and I don’t get out of bed in pain."
