Billie Eilish hates herself when she's in love: 'It makes me feel uncomfortable'
Billie Eilish has admitted she feels uncomfortable being "vulnerable" when she's in love and she "hates" the person she becomes when she's fallen for someone romantically.
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Billie Eilish "hates" the person she becomes when she's in love.
The 22-year-old pop star - who split from fellow musician Jesse Rutherford last year - has opened up about her personal life in a candid new interview with singer Lana Del Rey confessing she feels uncomfortable being "vulnerable" when she's fallen for someone romantically because she has "a power issue and a control issue".
Grilling Billie for Interview magazine, Lana asked her: "When one of your romantic relationships ends, do you think you leave them with a thousand questions? Or do they leave you with a thousand questions? Or is it split 50-50? Is it more dangerous to fall in love with you? Or is it more dangerous for you to fall in love?”
Billie then replied: "Big question, Lana. I don’t even know. I think 50-50 is probably accurate. I literally hate who I am so much when I’m in love ...
"[I struggle with] being vulnerable in a romantic way. I really don’t like being - I was going to say out of control, but there’s ways that I do like being out of control.
"I have a power issue and a control issue, and I also don’t like being vulnerable in a romantic way. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and I don’t know how many times I’ve really been in love. I think there’s different versions of love, and I think that you can be in love and it might not be deep."
Billie went on to explain she doesn't like expressing her feelings - even in her songs - because she doesn't want people to think she's complaining.
She added: "It’s interesting to be a person who isn’t an outwardly sensitive complainer. A lot of moments on this album are about situations where I was like, ‘I’d rather be tortured inside but have somebody think that I’m cool, than have somebody think that I’m hysterical and actually express my feelings.’
"So many songs on this album reflect that realisation of, like, ‘Maybe I’m obsessed with the idea of nonchalance'.
"I would rather suffer in silence than tell you something’s bothering me and have you think I’m sensitive."
