Ryan Coogler still learning lessons from Chadwick Boseman
Chadwick Boseman's death taught Ryan Coogler to enjoy his life more.
Ryan Coogler will take "lessons" from Chadwick Boseman for the "rest of [his] life".
The 39-year-old filmmaker admitted the 2020 death of his Black Panther star from cancer made him realise he had spent too much time worrying he was "unworthy" and not enough living in the moment and appreciating what he had.
He told The Hollywood Reporter: “Engaging with him on an artistic level, conversations that will forever just be between me and him — I was about 30 years old, stressed, completely out of my mind, sleep-deprived, convinced that the movie wasn’t going to work.
“I robbed myself of truly enjoying that privilege — even of sitting there and enjoying the countless Chadwick Boseman takes, because he didn’t have a bad take. So when he passed, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, how much stuff have I not allowed myself to enjoy because I was in my own head — feeling like I was unworthy?’
“I’m going to take the lessons from Chad for the rest of my life, bro. That includes all of this.
"I have to see the good in things, see the value in things, and not let impostor syndrome or guilt or negativity rob me of moments with my cast who I love — or with folks who want to say, ‘Hey, good job.’ “
Ryan made his feature film debut with 2013's Fruitville Station and despite the success of the movie - which took more than $17 million worldwide on a budget of $900,000 - he recalled falling into a depression following its release.
He said: “I did have a need to make that movie, but I was not convinced that I belonged in what comes after that.
“When you come from where I’m from, that’s not necessarily an affirming environment all the time. You can convince yourself that somebody’s playing a joke on you. You can convince yourself that none of this is real: ‘I don’t deserve to be here. This place isn’t for me.’ ”
Fruitville Station is based on a true story and depicts the last day in 22-year-old Oscar Grant's life before he was fatally shot by transport police, and Ryan admitted he would make a "totally different movie" if he took on the project now.
He said: “That movie was made by a person who didn’t totally understand how the world worked — like, straight up.
“Playing football and going to school my whole life, I wasn’t studying all the factors that led to Oscar being executed on camera. I know more now — and it doesn’t make you optimistic.
“I try to make the best movie I can as the person I am at that time. If I was to make Fruitvale Station today, it’d be a totally different movie."
