Lily Allen ‘wanted to die’ and had sobriety tested following her separation from actor David Harbour
In an emotional chat about the aftermath of the split, singer Lily Allen has admitted she “wanted to die” and had her sobriety tested following her separation from actor David Harbour.
Lily Allen “wanted to die” and had her sobriety tested following her separation from actor David Harbour.
The singer, 40, who married David, 50, in 2020, also told British Vogue in a new chat she checked herself into a treatment centre in January after recognising that her mental health was deteriorating.
Lily had previously discussed her decision to seek therapy on her Miss Me? podcast, saying she wanted to be her “strongest self” for her two daughters.
Speaking about the aftermath of the split, she told Vogue: “I’ve had real problems with food over the past few years. (In the thick of the break-up) it got really, really, really bad.
“I knew that the things I was feeling were too extreme to be able to manage, and I was like, ‘I need some time away.’ I’ve been into those places (residential facility) before against my will and I feel like that’s progress in itself. That’s strength.”
Asked how she knew she needed help, Lily said: “That I wanted to die. The feelings of despair that I was experiencing were so strong.
“The last time that I felt anything like that, drugs and alcohol were my way out, so it was excruciating to sit with those (feelings) and not to use them.”
Best known for her hit songs Smile, F** You* and It’s Not Fair, Lily said she continues to feel “compassion” for David, famed for his role in Stranger Things.
She added: “There were lots of good things. My kids had an amazing experience living in America for five years, and I have a lot of compassion for my ex-husband. I think we all suffer.”
Lily has two daughters with her former husband Sam Cooper, who she married in 2011.
Her comments come ahead of the release of her fifth studio album, her first since No Shame in 2018.
She said the record draws on her personal experiences, including aspects of her marriage.
Lily added: “I want to feel validated. I want to feel like it’s OK to feel the things that I’m feeling and to be angry about the thing that I’m angry about.
“There are things that are on the record that I experienced within my marriage, but that’s not to say that it’s all gospel. It is inspired by what went on in the relationship.”
Lily, the daughter of actor Keith Allen, has also developed a growing acting career.
She has starred on the West End stage in 2:22 A Ghost Story, in the Sky series Dreamland, and in the West End revival of Martin McDonagh’s The Pillowman.
Reflecting on her current wellbeing, Lily said: “(I’m) really not in the same space that I was when I wrote (these) songs. I have come a long way. I feel OK, actually. Maybe the play has given me an outlet to express my rage.”
Her full interview appears in the November issue of British Vogue, available digitally and in print from 21 October.
