Emily Ratajkowski reveals what she discovered about herself when she stopped having sex
Emily Ratajkowski found that she was able to "write better" once she stopped having sex.
Emily Ratajkowski found that she was able to "write better" once she stopped having sex.
The 33-year-old model recently went through "a period of celibacy" and claimed that the quality of her work had improved during her abstinence.
She told Interview magazine: "I actually just went through a period of celibacy and I had drinks with my friend. I was like, 'I’ve noticed that I’ve really been able to write better.' And he said something so beautiful like, 'Ultimately, making art or wanting sex and connection are both about seeking connection from other people, and so it makes sense that that energy would be interchangeable.'"
The 'My Body' author was chatting to fellow writer Melissa Febos - who was celibate for a year - for the publication, and she noted in response that society "mistakes" the goal of sex, and she noted that the same somrt of intimacy can be found in so many different ways.
She said: "I think one of the mistakes that we make as a culture, and one of the mistaken ways that sex has been presented to us, is that it’s a single category of experience, that there should be one thing that we all get from sex. We should all get oxytocin and intimacy from sex, or we should all get orgasms from sex, or we should all get self-esteem from sex. There’s the whole cache of things that we’re told we should get from sex and a lot of them are contradictory. Something that I have learned is that it can be used to express so many things, even inside of one relationship. Like, sex inside of one relationship can be a form of catharsis. You can be working something out. You can be seeking closeness. It can be play. It can be somewhat autoerotic, like orgasm-seeking. It can be mutual masturbation. It can be a way of grieving together. The same way that hugging or talking or walking or meditating can be so many different things. I also talk about that a lot with my writing students. I feel like they’re afraid of writing sex scenes because it has to be a “good” sex scene. And I’m like, “What does that even mean outside of the context of your character’s lives?” It just is what it is, just like every other scene."
