Paris Jackson reflects on 'ugly behaviour' during her struggle with addiction
Paris Jackson, who has been open about her struggles with addiction, has reflected on how drink and drugs changed her personality.
Paris Jackson became a "very vindictive person" when she used to drink.
The 28-year-old star, who has been sober for six years, has reflected on how she suffered with "years and years and years of self-hatred" before getting clean, which meant she was struggling with her emotions.
Recalling the way she thought about herself, she told Jack Osbourne on the Trying Not To Die podcast: "'Oh, I may be a liar, a cheater, a piece of s***, a thief, whatever, but I do have a moral compass, like, I was raised right in that way'.
"What happens when I drink is that goes away. That goes right out the window and I become a very vindictive person."
Paris, who is the only daughter of late singer Michael Jackson, noted she was "raised to be kind", but her drug and alcohol addiction made behaving a certain way more difficult.
She said: "It's really ugly behaviour in a moral way, because I was raised to be kind — not nice, I could give a s*** about being nice — but kind.
"Being kind and looking people in the eye and asking the waiter their name so you can write it down on the receipt later, just little things of, just like, how do you treat people?"
It's been over a decade after Paris, then 17, first sought treatment for her struggles with addiction.
It was then that she can remember noticing "a lot of tell-tale signs" from a very young age.
She recalled: "I struggled with self-harm for a really long time before I ever had my first drink or drug.
"I had weird relationships with overeating and food as a young kid...
"There was this overall reachy, graspy energy that I only ever see in other addicts. Reaching for something outside of yourself."
Paris managed to get her life back on track, and she's keen to use her own experiences and platform to help people in similar positions.
Speaking at the annual Friendly House Awards Luncheon in Los Angeles in October, she said: "Most of the service work I do is one-on-one. I don't typically make a spectacle of it because my life simply depends on it and because it is also part of my spiritual foundation.
"That being said, I'm really grateful to be a part of a movement that aligns so much with my higher purpose and the essence of my daily reprieve.
"Getting someone to develop conscious contact has easily been the greatest action I've ever taken and I pray that I can continue to help others."
Paris subsequently opened up about her own struggles, explaining how sobriety has changed her life.
She said: "I didn't just get my life back. I got a better one.
"I say it's funny, I feel like getting sober was kind of like getting into a car accident because everything I shoved in the back seat moved forward on impact and today I'm learning to navigate life on life's terms.
"And along with those things that flew forward, I support any and all programmes and foundations and organisations that work towards helping other women do the same."
