Jimmy Kimmel has branded Donald Trump a chubby little teacup

Jimmy Kimmel has branded Donald Trump a "chubby little teacup".

The 57-year-old talk show host returned to Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Tuesday (02.09.25) following a two-month summer break and wasted no time in slamming the US president in a 10-minute monologue in response to the former Apprentice star's recent attacks on late-night presenters amid the cancellation of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

During his monologue, Jimmy addressed viral rumours Trump had died over the weekend and mocked his "big fat elephant ankles" and bruised hand.

He said: “He has mysterious bruising on his hand, which they tried to cover up with make-up...

“The White House claims the reason for these bruises, and his big fat elephant ankles, is he suffers from a condition known as chronic venous insufficiency.

“Which in layman’s terms means he’s got a very small venous. He’s got an insufficient venous.

“But Trump says he’s in great health and he’s never felt better. And, despite the fact that he looks like a pumpkin that got left in a hatchback on a hundred-degree day, he is definitely not dead.

“Here’s the thing: Donald Trump will never die. Forget it. He’s like Dracula: he’s going to keep sucking the life out of us forever.”

The presenter also read from a pre-written list of things the president has done over the summer, noting each was "crazier than the next", including planning a UFC fight at the White House, petitioning other world leaders to help him secure the Nobel Peace Prize and going to Alaska "to bend over for Putin."

And in response to Trump's threats that his show would be the next late-night programme to face the axe, Jimmy scathingly branded him "woke".

He said: "Oh, you delicate, chubby little teacup. Did we hurt your feelings? You want us to be canceled because we make jokes about you?

"I thought you were against cancel culture? I thought that was, like, their whole thing? When did you become so woke?"

While Jimmy recently revealed he had obtained Italian citizenship, he insisted on the show he has no plans to leave the US in response to Trump's re-election.

Nothing the "MAGA gang went nuts" at the news, he said: “I’m not moving to Italy.

“I never said that. This is where I live. This is my country. I have no intention of running away from it, especially because of Donald Trump.

“Let me tell you something, I would move into Mar-a-Lago if I could, just to drive him insane.”