Tana Ramsay still feels 'so much guilt' over baby loss
Gordon Ramsay's wife still "suffers so much guilt" over the tragic loss of son Rocky when she was 20 weeks pregnant.
Gordon Ramsay's wife still "suffers so much guilt" over her tragic baby loss.
The chef and his spouse Tana were left devastated in 2016 when she miscarried their son Rocky at 20 weeks pregnant and the 49-year-old presenter still questions if there is anything she could have done differently.
She told Lorraine Candy and Trish Halpin on the 'Postcards from Midlife' podcast: "I still suffer so much guilt. Did I, should I have known something? Should I have done something differently? It's one of those things that some days you're absolutely fine and you can kind of justify it.
"Other days, for some reason, whether it's because you're overtired or something triggers you, I can have a day where I just feel really emotional.
"You don't expect to be holding a baby knowing that they're not going last more than an hour. That is always gonna be something I can never, never get over."
Tana - who also has Megan, 26, twins Holly and Jack, 24, Tilly, 22, Oscar, five and Jesse, 18 months, with Gordon - admitted her young children find the loss of the brother they never knew hard to process.
She said: "Even Oscar now, he talks about Rocky, his brother in the sky or his star.
"And he'll come out with things like 'I really don't like him being there. Why can't he just come here?' "
Tana recalled experiencing a particularly powerful wave of grief shortly after Oscar was born because she felt "guilty" she'd been so excited about the new arrival.
She said: "One of the hardest times actually was after I had Oscar, and he must have been about three weeks old. And I had a day where I felt so emotional.
"I think it was the guilt that I didn't think that I felt enough about Rocky because I've been excited with a new baby. And that threw me, and I remember Gordon saying to me, it was always going to hit you like this now, because we've been so in this bubble.
"And then suddenly you think, I felt unfair that I hadn't sort of been thinking enough or sad. You can never know what's around the corner with grief, and we've never had anything like that."
