'You did the best you could': Bethenny Frankel announces death of mom she had 'complicated' relationship with
Bethenny Frankel urged people to reach out to those they have "complicated" relationships with following the death of her mother from lung cancer.
Bethenny Frankel urged people to reach out to those they have "complicated" relationships with following the death of her mother.
The former 'Real Housewives of New York City' star - who has 13-year-old daughter Bryn with ex-husband Jason Hoppy - announced on Saturday (20.04.24) that Bernadette Birk, who was also known as Bonnie, had passed away from lung cancer and reflected on the struggles her mom had faced over the years and how they impacted on her own life.
She wrote on Instagram: "My mother has died of lung cancer. She was complex, in pain, isolated and had demons. She was the most stunning woman you have ever seen, who left her abusive home as quickly as I ran from mine.
"She was brilliant, funny, cultured and wise — yet suffered a lifelong eating disorder, alcoholism, abuse, smoking, and self destruction. Despite not being equipped to be a mother, she loved me and I have beautiful memories of her.
"She taught me food, wit, culture and strength. She loved to dance.
"I won’t sugarcoat it. I was an adult long before Bryn’s age, experiencing things no young child should endure.
"This made me strong, tough, a survivor who is able to handle anything. The universe gave me the most beautiful daughter and my childhood gave me inspiration to break the chain."
The 53-year-old star had been estranged from her mom but they "reconnected" for the sake of her own daughter, and she told how she had a "sixth sense" that her passing was imminent before she was notified.
She continued: "We reconnected so my daughter could know and love her. She adored Bryn and they shared a love of art. She had one friend, so my lifelong wish was granted that she wasn’t alone. She was selfish in life, yet selfless in death. She left what little she had to my daughter, wished to be cremated, and wanted no one to be notified besides me.
"I had a sixth sense she had passed. I had started to release some trauma, was dancing to the song “I’m alive” in her favorite designer Alaia dress as she was dying."
Bethenny noted her mom had done the "best [she] could" as a parent but will be grateful for the memories she has of her from when she was very young.
She continued: "I remember her as a young woman during periods of happiness loving me and long for those memories of affection. I mourn her loss, her life, her loneliness and my childhood. I mourn her inability to experience motherhood, the most beautiful gift of a lifetime.
"Goodbye mom, Bonnie, Bernadette. You did the best you could and you are free and at peace.
"I miss my mommy as a little girl and I am grateful for my daughter consistently pushing to meet her and myself for re opening old wounds for their relationship.
"I think of you on this journey with me releasing your trauma and I hug you. Life is about loss and loving. I have had shame in never really having family, yet my very small group of friends, my beautiful Bryn, and you are my family.
"Ps. Please call, connect with, or hug someone you have a complicated relationship with today. #motherhood #loss #parenting #loveyoumom (sic)"
