Ashley James 'heartbroken' by postnatal recovery after having first child
Ashley James and her partner, Tommy Andrews, welcomed Alfie into the world in January 2021.
Ashley James felt "heartbroken" by her postnatal recovery after having her first child.
After the 39-year-old broadcaster gave birth to her and partner Tommy Andrews' son, Alfie, five, she thought faecal incontinence - involuntary loss of stool, liquid or gas from the bowel - was normal, before she learned it was not and that no one spoke about it.
Ashley - also mum to three-year-old daughter Ada - told the July/August issue of Women’s Health UK: "I felt heartbroken at my postnatal recovery. I thought faecal incontinence must be normal, but no one talked about it.
"It was only three months in that I messaged a private health physio to say, 'At what point does the incontinence stop?' And she was like, 'No, that’s not normal.'"
The This Morning star called for more honest conversations about the realities of motherhood.
Ashley explained: "When you talk about struggling in motherhood and feelings of regret or despair, people say, 'What will your children think when they learn about this?' But maybe if we didn’t romanticise [motherhood] so much, we’d equip people better to deal with it...
"Motherhood heightened my sense of urgency – not only because I see the struggles that so many people are going through, but also because of the impossibilities that mothers face…
"There’s too much pressure on a mum to figure it all out, then be told if they complain that they don’t love their kid.”
The Made in Chelsea alum encouraged women to speak openly and challenge outdated societal expectations.
Ashley said: "When women use their voice, it’s resistance, even if it’s just talking to your friends. The more we talk, the more it helps others to deconstruct these ideas, whether it’s around body expectations or double standards.
"Society still fears intelligent women who are seeing through the shackles of society. We need more of them."
In August, the DJ admitted she turned down "big" projects because of crippling mum guilt.
Ashley explained to Closer magazine: "I don't work the regular 9-to-5 and I can't be there for every bedtime or nursery drop off, so Tommy and I juggle.
"However, the last few weeks, I was so busy and missed quite a few bedtimes. It was having a real impact on Alfie with separation anxiety, and that's so hard to navigate.
"I had to say no to a few big things so I could spend that quality time with him and my daughter."
The full interview is in the new issue of Women’s Health UK, on sale now.
