'You never get over it but you do learn to live with it...' TOWIE's Lauren Goodger opens up on loss of second daughter
Lauren Goodger and her ex-partner Charles Drury lost their second daughter Lorena in July 2022, and the TOWIE legend often replays the events of that day in her mind.
Lauren Goodger often replays her daughter's death in her mind and questions what she could have done differently.
The Only Way is Essex star and her ex-partner Charles Drury - who have a daughter called Larose, three - suffered heartbreak in July 2022 after Lorena was born with the umbilical cord knotted around her neck and died shortly after she entered the world.
Since then, Lauren has never stopped grieving for her "beautiful" bundle of joy, and the reality TV personality has recalled moments when she quizzed herself about whether the choices she made on her pregnancy journey were a matter of life or death.
Lauren, 38, told the new issue of New! magazine: "You start to think, 'Should I have been in hospital rather than having a home birth? Should I have done this or that?'
"But I had a home birth the year before and it was absolutely fine. I think when anyone loses someone, we think about what we should have done. You just keep going over it.
"You think, 'Why me? What have I done wrong?' After carrying a baby for that long it's unimaginable. But in time you heal, and that's the positive part.
"You never get over it but you do learn to live with it."
The 2014 Celebrity Big Brother housemate initially split from Charles in July 2021, following the birth of their first daughter Larose.
They reunited when Lauren revealed to him that she was pregnant with Lorena, but they ended up calling their relationship quits in August 2022.
And Lauren has chosen to not talk about Lorena to Larose as she gets older because the star does not want her to suffer pain and go through a grieving process.
She explained: "When she was young, I'd talk about Lorena. But now she's getting older, I don't talk about Lorena to her because I don't want her to go through the grief I've been through when she's too young to understand.
"I don't want her to be in any pain. We have pictures of Lorena around the house from the labour, Larose knows it's a baby but she doesn't really understand who it is."
Despite Lauren admitting she is "scarred" and that there is "no timeline for healing" from the tragic ordeal, she wants another child.
The reality TV star - who has considered adopting - shared: "I would love to have a baby.
"I don't know when but I do really want another child. I've thought about adopting but I'm still young and would like to have another of my own."
