Josh Widdicombe feared taking antidepressants for 'mental collapse' amid feeling like a 'failure'
Josh Widdicombe suffered a "horrific panic-led insomnia" in 2022, but he was reluctant to take antidepressants because he thought it was an "admission of failure".
Josh Widdicombe didn't want to take antidepressants for his insomnia because he thought it was an "admission of failure".
The 41-year-old comic was in "such a bad way" in 2022 when he had a complete "burnout", and it left him "terrified" at night when he tried to settle down to sleep.
He told the i newspaper: "I was in such a bad way.
"Like a lot of people who think there's some sort of shame or stigma involved, I was initially very resistant to taking antidepressants because I thought it was some sort of admission of failure, but I couldn't sleep, and I was terrified about going to bed at night.
"It meant that I couldn't make any changes to my life because it was like trying to change the tyre on a car that was going at 120mph."
Despite having reservations about taking medication to treat his insomnia, he plucked up the courage to take the treatment, and it allowed him to "make those changes" in how he approached life.
'The Last Leg' star added: "Taking medication just allowed me to pull over into the hard shoulder and make those changes.
"It's a shame that there's still stigma attached to it.
"It's really helped me to just deal with it."
Josh has been a mainstay in the world of comedy for years now but admitted that he was never really been able to relax because he is only ever "one bad gig away" from it all coming to an end.
He explained: "I still fear that I don't have a future in comedy.
"There's no point when you feel safe at all.
"You presume there gets to a point where you go, 'Oh, I can relax now,' but I certainly have never found a point where I could relax.
"It feels like you're still only one bad gig away from thinking, 'I'm the s******* comedian that's ever lived."
Before every show, Josh always curses to himself and because he thinks that is a "healthy" way to deal with things before going on stage.
He explained: "Genuinely before going on, I'd say my internal monologue every night is, 'F***, f***, f***. Why am I doing this with my life?'
"And I think that's healthy because if you think, 'This is a normal and comfortable thing to do,' then you need to speak to someone."
