Olivia Bowen devastated after losing one of her unborn twins
Olivia Bowen was "devastated" to lose one of her unborn twins early into her current pregnancy.
Olivia Bowen was "devastated" to lose one of her unborn twins.
The former 'Love Island' star announced last month she and husband Alex Bowen were expecting a sibling for two-year-old son Abel, but she's now revealed she was pregnant with twins but tragicallly miscarried one of the babies.
The couple had an early scan at six weeks and were told they were expecting twins, but received devastating news two weeks later.
Olivia emotionally told Fabulous magazine: “As we looked at the screen, you could see that one baby was so much bigger than the other. And then the sonographer told us that the smaller baby had no heartbeat.
“I just didn’t believe it. I sat there thinking, ‘No, it’s going to come back.’ And what made me more upset was seeing Alex’s face, because he had been so positive...
"Alex was so quiet and more crushed than me. I was just numb.
“Sometimes, I think to myself: ‘I wish we hadn’t gone for that early scan and we had never known.’ But we wanted to know everything was OK."
Olivia had experienced vanishing twin syndrome,and didn't bleed or need an operation as the embryo was absorbed back into her body.
She said: “Knowing that the baby was still inside me was hard, though I had a scan two days ago and they told me it’s just gone. I felt relieved, but then I felt immediately guilty.
“The baby is completely gone now and I can’t see it any more. Every time I went for a scan, even though it was sad, I could see it.
“But now I can’t and it’s never coming back. What I hold on to, which is beautiful, is the baby will always be a part of me.”
The loss saw the reality star sink into a deep depression.
She admitted: “I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t brush my teeth or shower. I was a mess and couldn’t speak to anyone.
“I just wanted to be asleep, but then I would feel so guilty because there was this other little baby thriving inside me that other people literally dream of having.
“I’ve never felt such extreme emotion in my life, feeling so happy and lucky and devastated and depressed at the same time.
“It felt like I was having a breakdown, that I had lost the plot.
“I try to think that the later it is, the more you bond with your baby as you see them growing and feel them moving. But it doesn’t really make a difference. It’s hard at any time.”
The couple are planning to find out the sex of their baby, which they insist will be their "last".
Olivia said: “We didn’t find out with Abel, but this is our last baby.
“After everything, I don’t want to do this again, though we were always planning for two.
“We’ve got a girl’s name – I’ve had it in my notes for years – but we have no boys’ names.
“It will be nice to get organised and decorate.”
