Jesy Nelson didn't want children before getting pregnant with twins
Former Little Mix star Jesy Nelson has revealed she "never wanted children" because she "was not maternal at all" before welcoming twin daughters.
Jesy Nelson "never wanted children" because she "was not maternal at all" before welcoming twin daughters.
The former Little Mix star became a first-time mother last year when she welcomed her little girls - Ocean and Story - with her ex-partner Zion Foster and she's now revealed she hadn't planned on starting a family but changed her mind when she found out she was pregnant.
During an appearance on the Great Company with Jamie Laing podcast, Jesy explained: "I never wanted children, did you know, oh my God.
"Like ... anytime I met anyone, and they'd be like, also, I want kids ... [I always thought] 'F*** sake, here we go'. Because I just did not I was not maternal at all.
"And then when I fell pregnant, which wasn't on purpose, this feeling that I got was just very strange and abnormal because I was like: 'Why am I happy?'
"And it really freaked me out. I felt butterflies, but like excitement, but then also ... like fear and worry. And I was like, I couldn't understand it. I couldn't understand why I was feeling these when I have never wanted children. "
Jesy went on to add: "And then, you know, me and their dad was like: 'What we're going to do?' Because he always just wanted to be a young dad.
"I knew he always wanted children ... [In knew] at some point this is gonna get really f****** awkward ...
"This is so awkward. And you know, we'd been together like, two years at this point, so, yeah, so when I felt pregnant, I was like, I was so overwhelmed by all these feelings ...
"I never wanted children, and then the universe gave me twins".
However, becoming a mother totally changed Jesy because it gave her a sense of "purpose".
She said: "For a very long time, I felt very lost, like, just honestly felt like had no sense of purpose. I was constantly trying to find, like, the next project that would make me feel worthy, feel something right?
"And then I feel like my girls came along and they just made me the person I've always wanted to be."
Since the birth, both of Jesy's daughters have been diagnosed with SMA Type 1, a rare genetic condition that causes severe muscle weakness, and Jesy admitted she's still struggling to come to terms with the diagnosis.
She said: "I have good and bad days. Sometimes I'll wake up and [I] feel almost as like, I don't even know that they have it. And then other days I just want to lay in bed and cry, but I can't, because, you know, I have to be there for them ...
"When you become a mum, you almost have to come like superhuman, because you're just irrelevant ... Now this has happened, and they've got their diagnosis and all the stuff that I went through, and it's like, and I want to raise as much awareness about it as possible.
"It's s***. It's really f****** s***. It is s***. But at the same time, I'm just still so blessed because my girls are, they are literally superhuman, honestly, like I look at them and every day they are happy, and I'm like: 'What have I created?' ...
"They just astound me every day, like the s*** that they've had to go through, and they're still happy and smiling, and I'm like, that almost thing gives me even more like strength to be like: 'Well, what gives me the reason to be sad?'"
