Drew Barrymore has 'crippling' fear of death
Drew Barrymore wants to overcope her "crippling" fear of death.
Drew Barrymore has a "crippling" fear of death.
The 50-year-old actress admitted the thought of what comes after her life ends is "very, very scary" but she has been trying to change her perspective on mortality over the last two years.
Speaking to Brad Falchuk - whose Netflix series, Famous Last Words, records interviews with notable figures that are not released until after they die - on her self-titled talk show, Drew said: “My death is a very, very scary, infinite black void. And there’s no way I’m looking forward to that.
“I was walking at a friend’s wedding and I thought, ‘Why is my death a big, black infinite room? Why is it such an undesirable, dark place? I’m not a dark person. What if I change that room into a room of the brightest lights, and cosmos, and infinite beauty that’s so breathtaking I can’t even begin to imagine it?'
"I’ve been on this earth with so much fear — and it’s crippling me — about a subject and an entity that we will all meet eventually. So why am I living like this?”
The Whip It star hopes to make the end easier by greeting death with "peace and a gratitude for the life I’ve had” instead of harbouring fear and regret.
She added:“I want to be meeting it with a ‘I knew I would meet you someday and I’ve looked forward to it.
"Not in a way that I wanted it a day or a minute sooner than it was coming, but that I’m not meeting you not okay with meeting you, because you’re coming no matter what.”
Drew's fear of death only came about after she had her daughters Olive, now 13, and 11-year-old Frankie - who she has with ex-husband Will Kopelman - because they have "raised the stakes".
She grew tearful as she said: “I think the only reason I don’t want to leave this earth is because of my kids. They’ve raised the stakes.
"My life was, like, Meh! Cool! Whatever! And then they came along and now I’m afraid of death. Now I don’t want to leave them, even though at one point I’m going to have to anyway.”
She then sought advice from Brad.
She asked: “How do I make peace with that and be the fierce warrior for them in their journey?”
The producer - who is married to Gwyneth Paltrow - advised the best way is not to "personalise" it.
He said: “At some point, you’re gonna die and the people that care that you died are gonna have a hard time with it.
“At some point, they’re gonna die too and anyone that cared — anyone that’s personally affected by you dying — will be gone. This is how it is. This is what happens. And that’s okay, that’s for everybody who’s ever lived.”
He urged Drew to live life in a way she'd be proud of at the end, and to make friends with death.
He said: “How am I interacting with these people? How am I loving them? What am I caring about? What bothers me? The process of your life is all that matters.
“All you have is this moment here to live your life and to love and to care and to look after people and do all of these things.
"When you’re aware of [death], it’s really easy to be present. It’s really easy to say, ‘I’m coming with you eventually. So, until I get to you, I want to be right here.’”
Drew replied: “You just said something that will change my life forever and go in the butterfly net that I’m trying to collect to make peace with death: to be friends with it. I’ve never heard that before. That’s brilliant.”
